Throbbiton

Throbbiton is the home of the Throbbits at the 19th hole of the Westshire Golf Course where these peaceful silly creatures burrow into the ground leaving huge obnoxious dirt mounds which piss off the patrons of the country club. It is here that Bobo Buggins pawns off the ring to his senile wizard buddy Randolf who then gives it to Bobo’s nephew Frudo for a birthday present.

Brie

Best known for it’s cheese shops, Brie is also the home of The Pooping Pony, a stinky tavern best known for it’s scent of rancid goat nipples and bat guano. It is there that the soaking wet Throbbits Frudo and Ham meet up with Arogant as he hits on a really hot chick.

Featherflop

A gigantic bird’s nest atop a rocky cliff, Featherflop is Arogant’s former make-out spot where he takes the Throbbits to hide out. Unfortunately the Nosedrool catch wind of Ham’s Throbbit droppings and all hell breaks loose.

Rippendell

A bright lights oasis where music shows and casinos are never in short supply. City of the Elfises, Rippendell also offer a re-hab center Bobo finds “quite comfy.” It is here that Ham and Arogant bring the wounded and discounting Frudo to get his blue light ass sucked by Femowen, daughter of the Elfis king Abscond. At the council meeting our heroes are joined by Gimpi the Dweeb, Legoblocks the Elfis and Boredandqueer the Gay.

The Kentucky Fried Dragon

Sweetandsourman’s restaurant that combines fine oriental cuisine with down home hilly billy cooking. It is also at the KFD that he bakes his Spork army to pursue the Throbbits and eventually eats a very stale misfortune cookie.

The Tupper Woods

Full of transparent food wrap and plastic kitchenware, The Tupper Woods is the home of the mystical newage Gladwrapriel who persuades Frudo to look into The All Peeing pool in order to see his future.

The Crisco Mountains

After a long journey down the river, Frudo and Ham climb into the Crisco Mountains on their way to Lardor where they encounter the penile-nosed freaky little creature Scrottum who steals Frudo’s clothes (except for his menthol thong, the ring and his bow tie). Scrottum offers to leads the two to Mauron’s domain where he says he used to give tours.

The Dead Marshas

A soggy swamp where a TV studio used to film sitcoms long ago, such as The Brady Bog and Buried With Children. The spirits of the former characters still linger in the murky puddles, including as a certain perky blond which earned the place it’s name…The Dead Marshas…Marshas…Marshas….

Lardor

The headquarters of the Dork-mart empire where the evil executive Mauron watches over all of Muddle-Earth through his giant security camera fixed atop his corporate tower.

Bank Boom

Nearby Lardor, Bank Boom is where Mauron forged the credit cards of powers and the One Ring of Boundless Credit. It is here that Frudo must come to close Mauron’s account and end Dork-mart’s insidious reign.

Foghorn Forest

On their trek to Floundor Mall, Arogant, Legoblocks and Gimpi encounter Fleabeard the Spaghetti Tree who they attempt to consume alive. They also discover the presumed dead Randolf working on his tan to compensate for his new extremely pale complexion.

Floundor Mall

Floundor Mall was once the shopping Mecca of Muddle-Earth and is now going to be demolished by Dork-mart’s armies. Run by the passive former Assistant Manager Martha the Stewart, the mall is doomed to destruction unless our heroes kick some serious dork ass.